missing...

missing someone.....missing myself....missing kishi....missing manolo......but im alright. i have family....but parang wala. lol. i hate this mood ....down down down down.... and im ok. after all....my experiences in rehab.....these fellings its like "sisiw"....but it affects me. anyway....higway...God.....always praying.....just always be with me. hehehe.....hope tom il be ok......coz a new day has come. dont get tired of reading ....these kind of moods of mine....im always not like these....u will know me more soon

confused......

I'm not myself when you're around
I'm not myself standing in a crowd
I'm not myself and I don't know how
I'm not myself, myself right now

Jesus Christ will you look at me
Don't know who I'm supposed to be
Don't really know if I should give a damn
When you're around, I don't know who I am

I'm not myself when you go quiet
I'm not myself alone at night
I'm not myself, don't know who to call
I'm not myself at all

 always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the process I forgot that I was special too

I'm not myself when you're around
I'm not myself when you go quiet
I'm not myself all alone at night
I'm not myself standing in a crowd
I'm not myself and I don't know how
I'm not myself, myself right now
Don't know what I believe

I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the process I forgot that I was special too
I always wished that I could find someone as talented as you
But in the process I forgot that I was just as good as you

Decisions....

i feel so sad now coz i broke up with my bf....... hes expecting a lot....i like him and i know he loves me.....but...I CANT DO WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO/BE....specially i just got out from rehab.....its like.....u know the feeling its hard to go back but .....FUCK. FYI i was an alcoholic, drug dependent (E, Coke, name it but never tried the ice). I know that im ok now compare before.....but of course cant say goodbye to yesterday  still trying and do what im doing before.....and he cant understand that now.....I KNOW WHAT IS ENOUGH AND HOW TO CONTROL NOW (thats the difference). u know.....il never be the same....God... help me hope...what i did was right.....he wanted to work things out....and i cant think right now....im such a numb

what i was thinking before i was thinking.....

its my ....first time to write ....as of now im trying to think what should i write....confuse honestly......random thoughts.....but expect more. im looking for my style of writing.Im experementing now. Bottom line is im doing this to EXPRESS AND DONT REPRESS our/my  feelings. thanks for some for encouraging me to write.....its a new experience for me