Happiness....

I just realized that many people are longing for this….I think the only thing that’s gonna make us happy is the state of your soul……the way we treat people…..uhmm…the LOVE that we have in our heart….how we teach ourselves to appreciate small things and being contented of what we have .... sounds really corny but it’s the truth. And nobody tells you that. Sometimes being alone makes me happy. LOL. but not all the time

Do you believe in "Soul mates"?

when i was young i used to believe that there is always a real perfect soul mate for me.....after so many relationships i had. But now.....think about this.... There is no such thing a perfect  SOUL MATE if you met/need someone and you think that their perfect....you better run as fast as you can in the other direction coz the real perfect is the person who pushes all your buttons, pisses you of on a regular basis and makes you face the world. Its not easy to have a good relationship.....but i dont want easy....EASY doesnt make you grow, it doesnt makes you think. I thank God even if im single now...have friends there who knows me better than my family...actually. God Bless all and have a nice day. :D

missing...

missing someone.....missing myself....missing kishi....missing manolo......but im alright. i have family....but parang wala. lol. i hate this mood ....down down down down.... and im ok. after all....my experiences in rehab.....these fellings its like "sisiw"....but it affects me. anyway....higway...God.....always praying.....just always be with me. hehehe.....hope tom il be ok......coz a new day has come. dont get tired of reading ....these kind of moods of mine....im always not like these....u will know me more soon

confused......

I'm not myself when you're around
I'm not myself standing in a crowd
I'm not myself and I don't know how
I'm not myself, myself right now

Jesus Christ will you look at me
Don't know who I'm supposed to be
Don't really know if I should give a damn
When you're around, I don't know who I am

I'm not myself when you go quiet
I'm not myself alone at night
I'm not myself, don't know who to call
I'm not myself at all

 always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the process I forgot that I was special too

I'm not myself when you're around
I'm not myself when you go quiet
I'm not myself all alone at night
I'm not myself standing in a crowd
I'm not myself and I don't know how
I'm not myself, myself right now
Don't know what I believe

I always wished that I could find someone as beautiful as you
But in the process I forgot that I was special too
I always wished that I could find someone as talented as you
But in the process I forgot that I was just as good as you

Decisions....

i feel so sad now coz i broke up with my bf....... hes expecting a lot....i like him and i know he loves me.....but...I CANT DO WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO/BE....specially i just got out from rehab.....its like.....u know the feeling its hard to go back but .....FUCK. FYI i was an alcoholic, drug dependent (E, Coke, name it but never tried the ice). I know that im ok now compare before.....but of course cant say goodbye to yesterday  still trying and do what im doing before.....and he cant understand that now.....I KNOW WHAT IS ENOUGH AND HOW TO CONTROL NOW (thats the difference). u know.....il never be the same....God... help me hope...what i did was right.....he wanted to work things out....and i cant think right now....im such a numb

what i was thinking before i was thinking.....

its my ....first time to write ....as of now im trying to think what should i write....confuse honestly......random thoughts.....but expect more. im looking for my style of writing.Im experementing now. Bottom line is im doing this to EXPRESS AND DONT REPRESS our/my  feelings. thanks for some for encouraging me to write.....its a new experience for me